One foreign teacher told her Korean co-worker she was bi and lost her job a few days later. People don’t understand bisexuality.” You nodded. A co-worker once confided, “I’m bisexual, but don’t tell the boss.” You asked why, since another colleague frequently spoke about her female partner and the boss was warm and supportive. Most of your friends are bisexual you always seem to find each other! You were quiet about it at your last job but never tried to hide it. You still forget heteronormative rituals like checking the ring fingers of cute guys.Ī. Those were not your formative dating years. You haven’t thought of yourself as heterosexual since you were sixteen. So what if “opposite sex” attractions are easier to initiate in a rural area and play out as a shy female? Even when you dated more, you always felt that strange bi invisibility: too tough for straight boys, too feminine to ping girls’ gaydar.Ĭ. Since the rape at twenty-one, you’ve barely dated anyone, anyway-male, female, trans, nonbinary. Heat rises up your throat as a lid shuts over your lungs and you struggle for thin breaths. What if, after twenty-five years, I decided to call myself heterosexual? How would that feel?Ī. There should be more than two choices! You grimace and hunch your shoulders. You are most definitely a straight-identified bisexual at this point, meaning most of your cultural context and community is heterosexually oriented.Ĭ. Most of your friends and your community were queer.ī.
According to the queer theory article you read years ago, you were a queer-identified bisexual then. You still believe sexuality is a spectrum and most people fall somewhere in the middle.Ī. As Ani DiFranco sings, “I’ve got no criteria for sex or race/I just want to hear your voice/I just want to see your face.”Ĭ. You don’t believe in gender you’re interested in the person, not the genitalia. If you can do it once, you can do it again.ī. You’ve always considered yourself bisexual because in high school you fell in love with your best friend. How have I always defined my bisexuality? Has any of that changed?Ī. How do you define yourself? Queer? Questioning? Open to seeing where the night goes? Ignore people-straight and gay-who insist you must choose or that your current relationship posits that choice.Ĭ.
You would have said you don’t care what people do. Is sexuality based on someone’s sexual experience or how they identify?Īs the co-coordinator of my university’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Centre, how would I have answered these questions?Ī. Most people assume virgins or celibates are heterosexual. Maybe your mom was right: it was a phase you grew out of by thirty.ī. Choose A, B, C, all, or none as your answer.Īm I still bisexual if I haven’t “practiced” since university? Or if I never date another woman?Ī. Still questioning your sexuality? Here’s a handy test.